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Respect my limits




Respect my limits...

Quite a story...

Easy to say but not so easy to apply.

Personally as a woman, mother, wife and professional, it's not an easy balance to achieve. To respect my limits, I must have already identified them. This is something that was not part of my education. Born in the 80s, I was rather encouraged to be kind, wise and helpful, discreet if possible too. I was not pushed to assert myself or to be able to say if the situations I was experiencing were respectful of my nature. It was decency, politeness and other social values that took precedence over my emotions and feelings. I don't make a judgment on the values that were put forward in my family, I have only learned since then that for the balance to be really good for me and for the people around me, I have to put myself in the equation.

I like to use the metaphor of the glass and the pitcher to explain this balance. If I want to be able to offer those around me my listening, my service, my helpfulness and all the other acts which are pleasant to them and which maintain our good relations, therefore if I want to be able to fill their glasses from my pitcher, I must have a pitcher which is also full. For my pitcher to be full, I need to have time for the activities that fill me. These activities are different for each of us. Some need to see their friends while others need to walk alone in nature. Some recharge their batteries by listening to music and others by decorating or polishing their house. For some, it will be sport, for others painting, video games or shopping. The how is important to know in order to be able to use it... Respecting my limits means knowing when I am giving too much at my expense. Respecting my limits also means being able to say stop before my pitcher is completely empty and it also means being able to ask for help to fill it or for other pitchers to help fill the glasses...

Respecting my limits requires that I know them, that I know what fills me and that I respect myself enough to dare ask for help. In the end, respecting my limits allows me to make others respect them and allows for balanced relationships. By showing myself respect, I give myself the signal that I deserve it and I can ask for it from others...

Respecting my limits is the first step towards a new posture, towards a salutary and healthy affirmation of myself.

For me, respecting my limits also means being able to spend time without "doing" anything productive, accept that I have the right to rest if that's what I need without feeling guilty, lazy or inadequate. Today these moments of inactivity have even more flavor and bring me a feeling close to voluptuousness. I indulge in them with joy because I know that if I grant them to myself today, tomorrow I will be better with those around me, my loved ones, my clients, my children and that our balance will only be better.

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